Why now?

My confession:

I am a child therapist, child specialist, family mediator and a really imperfect Mama to two children. Like, really imperfect. Recently, I have been reevaluating life. You know, like you do every once in awhile usually when things aren’t quite going your way? Ideas keep swirling around in my brain about how else I can help people grow their authenticity, contentment and just generally be happier and emotionally healthy. I have been also wrestling with this idea of being an imposter on some level.

I spend my work days counseling clients of all ages on a variety of mental health issues, stressors and struggles in their lives. I spend my non work days breaking up fights between my 4 and 3 year old, doing housework at the speed of a cougar running after its prey and trying to healthily and calmly manage the flood of emotions that come pouring out of my children seemingly on a second to second basis.

Yo, I am really good at chores. I mean, I am not one of those people who will soak their children’s stained clothes in some natural cleaner before they wash them carefully on the right temperature and dry and fold them to perfection (remember the title of my blog: IMPERFECT). I am the chore doer that gets it done. I have a mental or physical list of my tasks that need to be completed, I run around and do them as fast as I can in between managing my children and then I feel pretty good about it for a few seconds until something else is a disaster. But this job as a Mom of managing your children’s emotions constantly with ease, peace and patience has escaped me. This is the funny part. I will sit in session with a client’s parent and teach them how to be the most unicorn parent ever, they will use my suggestions, see the change in their child and the stress they personally feel, we all high five and go on with our days. But, at home, it’s like all that escapes me. Well, not all. You’ll see reward charts for sleeping nicely (my son’s is really lacking the stars I would like to see on it), you’ll hear me promote assertiveness between the two of them and we talk about our private parts in a body positive way more than I swear in a day (which is actually quite a lot). But, it’s not all even tones and calmness.

I have realized that sharing my struggles (appropriately and therapeutically, of course) helps my clients. It helps them know that they don’t have to be perfect. Making errors is human, it’s what we do after that that matters. So here I am, I am going to put it out there. I am going to write a blog and share it with whomever wants to read it. I am going to write about how actually ridiculous it is to be a child therapist and Mother in hopes that I can normalize this thing we call parenting.